reality check
i checked my blog after a week and I saw some comments.
one said something about sending some flowers so that i can be a man again.
LOL.....i started laughing because it was right in some sort of funny way.
Then i started thinking why I wrote about my first love and why did I write about the girl in the shop.
I thought that I had removed her from my system 6 years ago and then seeing an attractive girl after 6 years had brought back memories of her and made me so depressed that I blogged it.Oh my god.what was I thinking??
I started thinking the reason behind this.If I don't get this out of my head once and for all I may become the same thing as my blogreaders think iam:a nut job.
As I started analyzing my situation things began to make some sense.I was not crying over my failure with my love.It was a personality thing.I was brought up in a culture which is totally different from the one which i'm experiencing.
I saw a girl at an age when it's natural to get attracted to the member of opposite gender.But my upbringing didnot approve to proceed further.I just couldn't handle failure.whether it was love or obsession, well i guess i will never know and i don't want to.
Visiting U.S was a big cultural shock for me.Here the way thing works are way too different than the way it goes about in india.Now the same stuff happens again.Boy meets girl and deja vu the same thing repeats.
The question is not whether I can approach a girl or not.The question is whether should I approach a girl or not arising out of two conflicting cultures i have experienced.
The dilemna i'm facing is whether I should live a life of carefree dating and sex which I'm seeing here in U.S.The countless cycles of love-hate relationship mess which people go through everyday.
Or should i wait till the right person comes along.
I realized further that I don't want to make a choice now.I have my career and financial goals towards which i have to work for.As enrique said rightly "I'm not in love.it's just a phase that i'm going through".
Just play along as it comes.Of course sometimes there will be days where all the logic seems illogical.Life doesn't seem interesting.But have to hang on for greener days.
I thank my critics for criticizing.just the fuel i need to go on.
6:07 pm,sunday
la jolla
july 9th
one said something about sending some flowers so that i can be a man again.
LOL.....i started laughing because it was right in some sort of funny way.
Then i started thinking why I wrote about my first love and why did I write about the girl in the shop.
I thought that I had removed her from my system 6 years ago and then seeing an attractive girl after 6 years had brought back memories of her and made me so depressed that I blogged it.Oh my god.what was I thinking??
I started thinking the reason behind this.If I don't get this out of my head once and for all I may become the same thing as my blogreaders think iam:a nut job.
As I started analyzing my situation things began to make some sense.I was not crying over my failure with my love.It was a personality thing.I was brought up in a culture which is totally different from the one which i'm experiencing.
I saw a girl at an age when it's natural to get attracted to the member of opposite gender.But my upbringing didnot approve to proceed further.I just couldn't handle failure.whether it was love or obsession, well i guess i will never know and i don't want to.
Visiting U.S was a big cultural shock for me.Here the way thing works are way too different than the way it goes about in india.Now the same stuff happens again.Boy meets girl and deja vu the same thing repeats.
The question is not whether I can approach a girl or not.The question is whether should I approach a girl or not arising out of two conflicting cultures i have experienced.
The dilemna i'm facing is whether I should live a life of carefree dating and sex which I'm seeing here in U.S.The countless cycles of love-hate relationship mess which people go through everyday.
Or should i wait till the right person comes along.
I realized further that I don't want to make a choice now.I have my career and financial goals towards which i have to work for.As enrique said rightly "I'm not in love.it's just a phase that i'm going through".
Just play along as it comes.Of course sometimes there will be days where all the logic seems illogical.Life doesn't seem interesting.But have to hang on for greener days.
I thank my critics for criticizing.just the fuel i need to go on.
6:07 pm,sunday
la jolla
july 9th
posted by desparado at
5:50 AM
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